My mother taught me about the FOOD GROUPS - "If you put one foot outside that door, you're not getting any home-made bread."

My mother taught me CONTORTIONS - "Have you seen the dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me to STAND FIRM - "You'll sit there 'till all that spinach is finished."

My mother taught me about WEATHER - "Looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

My mother taught me PHYSICS PROBLEMS - "What if I yelled because I saw a meteor coming down toward you; would you jump then?"

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY - "If I've told you once I've told you a million times - Don't Exaggerate!!!"

My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE - "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR PROGRAMMING - "Stop acting like your father!"

My mother taught me about ENVY - "There are millions of less fortunate children who don't have parents like you!"